HEART RINGS

Chapter One

March 1986

Seated at the head table overlooking the banquet hall, Leah Carpenter fought to keep her anger in check.

"Relax, honey," Wes whispered near her ear. "Give her some time. Traffic's bad out there tonight. Shoshanna will be here. She promised."

Leah glanced at the empty chair below the podium, then at her husband. "She's doing this to spite me."

He shook his head, and there was sadness in his eyes.

She was thankful he didn't argue with her. Not tonight. Not this night of all nights.

How many other women had been honored by the town of Beaker Heights as Citizen of the Year? None. Leah Carpenter was the first.

She'd been selected for this honor because of Together We Can, a non-profit organization that helped homeless women, especially single mothers, get on their feet and back into the work force. In the years since it was founded, Together We Can Leah's brainchild had become a model for similar community programs around the country.

Leah had given countless hours to make certain her labor of love succeeded. She had poured herself into it, giving a hundred and ten percent. There had been times, especially in the beginning, when others on the non-profit corporation's board of directors had wanted to give up, but she hadn't let them.

Tonight, the people of Beaker Heights were recognizing her accomplishments.

And her daughter wasn't there to see it.

Why am I surprised? I should have known she'd do this.

She'd had a horrible argument with Shoshanna last night. Her sixteen-year-old daughter had announced she wanted to get her nose pierced, like her friend Krissie Jenkins. Leah had exploded at the very suggestion. She had grounded Shoshanna for a week and forbidden her to see Krissie.

A pierced nose? No child of Leah Carpenter's was going to do such a thing. Leah had her position in the community to consider. What would people think if she allowed her daughter to parade around town with a ring in her nose? She wouldn't be able to hold her head up in church for the utter shame. No daughter of hers was going to do such a thing.

It hadn't helped Leah's humor any when Wes suggested she was overreacting.

"She's sixteen, for crying out loud," he'd said after Shoshanna fled the room in tears. "She's supposed to make outrageous suggestions. It's part of growing up and pulling away."

He's always been too easy on her, Leah thought now, her resentment increasing. I have to play the heavy, and he gets to be the favorite adult. It isn't fair.

She picked up her fork and moved the food around on her plate without taking a bite. Reluctantly she admitted she wasn't being fair to Wes, her husband of three years. Wes had entered her life and filled a place in her heart that she'd thought could never be filled after twelve years as a widow. He was good to her in countless ways, and he loved Shoshanna as if she were his own daughter. The feeling was mutual, too, so much so that Shoshanna had legally changed her name to Carpenter last year.

Leah glanced at Wes. When their gazes met, she gave him a tiny smile. In return, he squeezed her hand beneath the table.

Maybe I did overreact, she admitted silently. Maybe forbidding Shoshanna to see Krissie was a bit harsh.

Wes's grip on her hand tightened. "Look who's here."

She turned and saw Shoshanna being escorted to her table. She felt a rush of relief. Thank goodness she was here. Tonight meant so much to Leah, and if her daughter hadn't come to share it with...

Her thoughts died abruptly as the small silver ring in Shoshanna's left nostril glittered in the light of the crystal chandeliers.

Something twisted in Leah's chest.

Something painful.

Her baby. Her beautiful, loving, sunshine girl. Her precious child who for the better part of her sixteen years had brought her mother nothing but joy had defied Leah's wishes and had her nose pierced.

No matter what happened next, the evening was ruined.

****

"How could you do it?" Leah stood in the doorway to Shoshanna's basement bedroom. "How could you embarrass me in front of all those people? Did you see the way they were looking at you?"

"There's no reason for you to be embarrassed, Mom. I'm the one with the nose ring. Besides, it's no big deal."

"It's a big deal to me. Good heavens! Don't you realize how you look? Don't you know what people think of kids who mutilate their bodies like this?"

Shoshanna flicked a stray strand of long blond hair over her shoulder. "You know what your problem is, Mom? You're always worried about what other people might think. What about what I think? Doesn't that count for anything in this family? I think this ring is cool. I like it. Besides, it isn't really any different than an earring, you know."

"It is different, and you will remove that hideous piece of metal from your face. I won't allow a daughter of mine to have a pierced nose!"

"It's my face. I can do what I want with it."

"That's what you think, young lady. I'm still your mother."

"I wish you weren't!"

Leah was left momentarily speechless.

"Why can't you be cool like Krissie's mom?" Shoshanna flicked tears from her cheeks with her fingertips. "All you care about is your dumb job. You don't care about me at all. You don't care if I'm happy."

The accusations stung. They weren't true -- nothing was more important to Leah than her daughter -- but they stung nonetheless.

Shoshanna's tactics changed abruptly. In a wheedling tone, she said, "Please, Mom, can't I keep "

"No!" Leah clenched her hands into tight fists at her side. Her voice rose sharply. "When I see you in the morning, Shoshanna Marie Carpenter, that that thing will be gone from your nose. We'll discuss your punishment then. And mark my words, you will be punished." She turned quickly and strode from the room.

"I hate you!"

Leah winced but didn't look back.

Shoshanna slammed her door closed.

Wes was waiting in their second story bedroom. "How'd it go?"

As if he hadn't heard with the two of them shouting like a couple of fishwives.

Leah gave her head a slight shake, then went into the walk- in closet and began to disrobe.

Her husband appeared in the doorway. "Leah?"

"You heard her. She hates me."

"No, she doesn't. She's angry, but she doesn't hate you."

"She thinks she does." Leah draped her tailored suit jacket over a padded hanger. After releasing a deep sigh, she answered his unspoken question. "I told her she had to remove that ugly thing from her face. I told her we would discuss punishment in the morning."

Wes was silent for a few moments before saying, "She loves you, honey. Try to remember that."

"Well, this is a fine way to show it." With her back toward him, she closed her eyes against an unwelcome urge to cry.

"Didn't you ever rebel as a teen?"

You'll do no such thing. Her mother's voice was as clear in Leah's mind as if Frances Anderson were actually in this closet, speaking those words now instead of over two decades before. No daughter of mine will appear in public unless properly groomed. Certainly never in an outfit like that. It may be good enough for other girls, but not for you. Understood?

"No," Leah answered her husband. "I never rebelled." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "How can you defend her, Wes? If it was up to you, I suppose she could do anything she pleased."

His hand alighted on her shoulder, and he gently turned her to face him. "I'm not saying what she did was right or that she shouldn't receive appropriate punishment. I'm just asking you to think carefully about what you do or say next."

Unable to reply, she pressed her forehead against his chest. Anger, disappointment, frustration, and a host of indefinable emotions roiled inside her.

When, she wondered, does it get easier?

Surely she'd had enough trouble and turmoil in her life. She'd been widowed while still in her twenties. She'd raised her daughter alone. She'd scrimped and saved and struggled to get by and given up many things so Shoshanna wouldn't feel deprived. Why did her once perfect child have to suddenly turn against her? After all she'd done. After all she'd given.

It wasn't fair.

Wes stroked her hair. It felt nice. If only she could let him handle this. She was tired of always being strong. If only she could.

But she couldn't. Shoshanna was her daughter and her responsibility. She would have to decide on the punishment and then see it through.

"She's a good kid," Wes said softly. "You've raised her right. She'll come through this. What's the Bible say? Raise up a child in the way she should go, and when she's grown, she won't depart from it."

"Oh, Wes." She stepped out of his embrace. "That's no help. Not now. I need real answers."

He shrugged. "Some folks think God's word is a real answer, Leah."

She sighed as she turned away while unzipping her skirt. The tension in her shoulders made her want to scream. She knew Wes wanted to say something more. But finally, she heard him leave the walk-in, his thoughts still unspoken.

She felt a sting of guilt. It wasn't that she didn't believe the Bible was God's word, although she knew that was how it had sounded to Wes. At one time, she'd found comfort when reading the Scriptures, something she hadn't had time for in ages.

She shook off the thought and her guilt. Right now she needed to find a solution to her problems. God helped those who helped themselves, and that's what she meant to do. She had to have an answer tonight.

But none of it mattered by morning.

***

Leah had a white-knuckled grip on the telephone receiver as she listened to Krissie Tombs on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Carpenter. I can't tell you where Sho went."

"Can't?" she demanded. "Or won't?"

"I don't know where. She didn't tell me. All she said was she was leaving town."

Leah sank onto the kitchen bar stool. "Please, Krissie," she whispered, fighting tears of panic. "If you know anything "

"I don't. Honest."

Her gaze met Wes's across the room, and she shook her head slowly.

"I gotta hang up now, Mrs. Carpenter. 'Bye."

The dial tone buzzed in Leah's ear, but she couldn't seem to move. It was Wes who came to her rescue, taking the receiver from her hand and setting it back in its cradle.

"We'll find her," he said as he gathered her into his arms. "She can't have gone far."

I hate you!

Those had been her daughter's last words to her, and they cut into her heart like a dagger.

I hate you!

Leah had known Shoshanna was angry, but they'd always been able to iron out their difficulties and disagreements in the past. Certainly it hadn't occurred to her that Shoshanna might run away from home.

"Where would she go, Wes?" She pressed her face against his chest. "How will she get by?"

"I don't know."

"She doesn't have much money." Her stomach clenched as she gazed up at her husband. "She wouldn't be foolish enough to hitchhike, would she?"

He didn't answer. What could he say? Both of them knew that hitchhiking was the likely mode of transportation for a runaway teenager.

I hate you!

The pain in Leah's heart was too great to be borne. She was suffocating beneath it. She wanted to wail in grief. She wanted to strike out, wanted to do anything that might stop the hurt. She wanted to take back her ultimatums and her threats of punishment. She wanted to erase the past forty-eight hours. She wanted a chance to do them over.

I hate you!

The tears came then, like a flood.

"Oh, Shoshanna." She pressed her face against Wes's chest again, gripping his arms, holding on lest the storm sweep her away. "Oh, my baby girl. Don't do this. Don't do this. Please don't do this."

Copyright 2001 Robin Lee Hatcher